We won't sleep together?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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