We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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