I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
