She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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