I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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