she was so not down for the gang bang
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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