i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
