She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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