id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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