just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Come see our sink grown plant.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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