yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
