we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
