New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
