Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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