So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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