and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
