East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
