there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Randomize
