I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
