White coat. Heels.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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