so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize