pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
