i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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