i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I need water and some morals
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize