Who did Billy Mays play for?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
