i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
