i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I can't put those talents on a resume
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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