Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize