your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
