Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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