you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
All the doctor said was why
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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