Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
