just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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