About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
