so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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