Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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