Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
