areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I think I am morally bankrupt
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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