Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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