another moral hangover. fuck.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
