She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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