I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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