You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
