all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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