my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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