i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
