She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
