Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
