Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I've blown a few things in my day
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize