this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
