We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
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