I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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