Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
