whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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