just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
