My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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