You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
