You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
