she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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