hotel room ftw
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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