hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I want her autograph on my taint
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
