Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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