they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
