I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
