I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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