I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
