I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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