I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
