Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
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