haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
