so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
