So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
