The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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