fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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