If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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