I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
